No, this is not a Beyoncé tribute. Can you tell I’m not a fan?
I say this blog is for the single ladies because I’m a little depressed so I’m gonna say to all the married readers to skip this blog !! I do NOT want to rub it off on you.
After class Tuesday night I was talking with a dear friend and she made mention that my commitment to a strict budget has resulted in us missing the last FOUR action movies at the theater. Now, that is a total of $32.00 ($20.00 if we would have hit the matinee). That is not much money when you think about the fact that I have missed….
Sylvester Stallone “Bullet to the Head”
Bruce Willis “A Good Day to Die Hard”
Dwayne Johnson “Snitch”
And Colin Farrell “Dead Man Down”
What a depressing situation. Then today I get a text from her saying
“GI Joe is coming out March 28th – we are going to be there!”
Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson & Bruce Willis – yep, there’s room in the budget!
Still feeling a little down on the lost testosterone I began to watch
“Captain America, the First Avenger”
There is a scene early on in the movie when Chris Evans is still a scrawny little fella in boot camp training and Tommy Lee Jones throws a grenade into a group of soldiers trying to prove that some big bully was the bravest in the bunch. When the grenade unexpectedly lands right in the middle of their exercise they all scatter. All, except Chris Evans who jumps on the grenade and yells to everyone to get away.
It is a stupid scene in a stupid movie and I had to turn it off because I began to cry. What was wrong with me? If you have seen the two movies about Captain America the character is from the 1930’s and the lines his character says as well as the way he carries himself is from a bygone era when there were still men of great courage and great integrity. I am sure there are men of this same caliber in the current generation but I find as I talk to my son and tell him to think for himself and look deeper in his life I find that, in fact, he does stand out in a crowd. He opens doors for me, wants to spend time with me, still asks my opinion in areas of his life and genuinely loves me. Most of his friends don’t care about anything. It surprises me at how shallow they swim in life.
Be careful single ladies – I know my action movie addiction is a silly distraction and escape for me to get all the fantasy testosterone on the silver screen but it is a lot safer than being lied to and manipulated.
I’m not a man hater – not by any means but I am raising a flag to you women out there in the dating world. Better take a good look from a distance because when you get up close and personal you can lose focus and see only what you want to see.
Hormones can tell you that life he is a leading man in a romantic drama when in fact, it’s a horror movie !
Not a personal testimony here – I just have something on my mind that I’d like to share.
Are you confused about a relationship with someone?
As we learn in class, dysfunctional relationships aren’t always male/female. You can be confused in a relationship with anyone – friend, family, co-worker, child etc.
Here is a good quote to keep in your mind in case you get a little foggy..
“You cannot read minds, only actions.”
Pay more attention to what they DO than what they SAY they will do, or won’t do.
The following is used with permission by a dear friend of mine.
She wrote it, I read it and have to share it. Good Stuff.
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Sooo… on the way to church this morning with windows down, hair flying, and praise and worship music blaring, it occurred to me that I am not only stubborn in most areas of my life I am also stubborn when it comes to being obedient to God.
When I go to Him and ask for clarity in a situation and He gives it to me I do the whole
“Ok but what about this?”
and finally He will just make it SO obvious and in a way that I can never forget that it causes pain for me.
Am I mad at God? Absolutely not! At myself? You bet!
So much pain in my life could of and should of been avoided if I would have only listened the first 4 or 5 times, or however many. He tries to spare me but I won’t let Him. I am the one keeping myself from what He wants me to have and who He wants me to be.
Then when I get to church the sermon is on John 15:1
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:1-8
Which branch of the vine am I? Uhmmmm….. WOW is right! As I listen with tears rolling I realize I am not the throw away branch, the fruitful branch, or the totally connected one, but I am the “pruned one more time” branch. He has cut me back and made it to where even though I didn’t want to give up some things I have to! So He can get me to the fruit bearing and connected stage for Him and His work. So I can receive all that He wants me to ! I will not be the throw away branch!
Then on the way home Casting Crowns “Somewhere In The Middle” came on! I am the problem so my eyes are wide open, my ears are going to hear the FIRST time, and I will get what He promised me in Jeremiah 29:11!
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This is for me, if it touches you in some way great, if it offends you sorry not my problem take it up with who you need to.
We are going over the “Abuse Cycle” again in class. Thankfully this is the first time around when I can see someone else’s faults instead of feeling overwhelmed by my own mistakes. This means that I am making progress, putting responsibility where it belongs instead of being “Co-dependent” and taking all the blame.
Now, with that said, I have always tried NOT to print anything bad about anyone other than myself unless it’s a broad/general statement of human nature and no finger pointing. But today I’ve decided to point one finger.
Single ladies – let’s talk about “Red Flags”.
A red flag is something that your brain comprehends but is over ridden by your heart telling you it is just a coincidence and not a reality. Here is the best example that I can give you from my own life experience.
While dating husband #2 we went to visit his best friend. With my daughter (age 9) and my son (age 3) we sat in the living room as he showed us his Boa Constrictor. Now, my friends will tell you that I love reptiles, I’ve even owned a couple. Snakes are fine with me and they are beautiful creatures but really not my thing. This Boa was a little over two feet long and my husband (boyfriend at the time) was holding it.
As my children looked on he simply let go of that damn snake and dropped in my lap as I sat “Indian Style” in the floor. So, get this straight, I’m sitting on the floor with a vacant hole in my lap where there is now a Boa. My children freaked out – I did not. I chose to sit perfectly still because I did not want to alarm my children or the snake. I bristled up like a board and was in complete terror until he removed it from writhing around my legs and private area, all the while he was laughing.
This ladies is a red flag. It was not funny to anyone in the room but him, even the owner of the snake told him it was pretty sick to drop it in that space, especially to a woman.
Now – 14 years later I’m still dealing with the aftermath of the
Verbal Non-Verbal and Emotional
Abuse we heaped upon each other. This post is just one example of his.
Beware Single Ladies – don’t date a boy until he grows up.
For those of you who have not seen this I share it again on this blog. For those of us who have seen it – I post it to remind us of the freedom available to those brave enough to fly.
17 The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt. Hosea 2:15
18 The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. 19 He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. Psalm 145:18-19
This past Sunday we held a “Thank You Luncheon” for our Africa sponsors. When the three of us get together and start talking about Africa we don’t stop. We could go on for hours and this lunch was no exception.
Toward the end Richard set up his laptop to show some of our videos as the group was walking the room, eating and looking at our pictures. The video of a boys choir came on and I was taken back there as I remembered something very significant that I want to share with you.
Durban, South Africa, December 22, 2012
As you can see in this photo they were on a street corner standing in a half circle entertaining the crowd. Fantastic harmony and no music at all, some dance moves with all 17 boys in perfect step with one another and each dressed alike. After every song the crowd would clap and throw money into a container placed on the ground in front of them. The crowd kept growing larger and their adult leader (seen to the left in the bottom picture) had to stop and empty the container into his backpack several times because multiple homeless people kept walking through and trying to steal the money while the boys were pouring their hearts out in song and dance.
We did not interrupt them to ask if they were a school or church choir. We had no idea what they were saying because they were singing in the Zulu language. We stayed there in awe for well over an hour just soaking in this African experience.
The life lesson that I want to share with you here is that people began to lay money down and then point to a specific boy in the choir who would then step out into the front and take the lead on the next song. I was amazed at this because that meant that every single boy had to be trained and “READY” to be the lead at any moment. None of them knew when they would be chosen. Not one boy was shy, or hung his head and said no, each one took their place and stood up very well to the challenge. The more animated the lead boy was the more members of the audience would shout and dance as well.
For those of you who have given your life to Christ I am speaking to you. We must be ready at any moment to give account for the hope that is in us. We do not know when we will be called upon out of the crowd to give testimony of Jesus Christ and Him living inside of us. No matter how many times we stumble and fall it is in the getting up that is the testimony of our tenacity and fervor to not let the cares of this world overtake us.
Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the Lord unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.
This is why we get back up. This is why we do not relent. Because we love Him and He is going to call us out of this world at any moment and none of us knows when so we must be ready when we are pointed out either to testify here, or leave here and testify in Heaven.
Blessings to you, keep praying, stay strong and never give up !!
Praise 4 Life by Sylvia Frost 