If you read my blog on Saturday and it made you have thoughts of re-vamping things in your relationship with your child then I’m happy, that’s great.
But also, it’s Monday morning and right about now you have probably been faced with a battle and are ready to pull your hair out….
I send you this picture to remind you
“Children do not speak the same language that we do, please remember this.”
In the previous blog I did not even get passed Doug Cherry’s opening line. He had so much more to share and they have a ministry DEVOTED to parents. Here are some links for those of you interested.
http://www.frontlinefamilies.org/ministries/
He said one other thing that was sent most of the dad’s into shock…
“Ask your son the number one thing he is looking for in a future mate. If he says….”She has to be hot!!!” Then you need to go look in the mirror and call yourself a dummy for raising him that way.
This book was written by Lisa Cherry and their daughter, Kalyn Cherry Waller. Their true story of their child facing intense pressure and how they set a course in battle to capture her heart back from the enemy.
I’d like to write something witty or funny but I have an issue that has been swimming around inside me for over a week now and I cannot get away from it. I have not been able to blog because it keeps coming to the surface. I just keep chewing on it.
If I’m chewing on it you know I’ll share it with you.
On March 1-2 I attended a Youth program called “Acquire the Fire”. This is a yearly event in our area with Christian music and message for the youth to empower them to impact their generation with their faith in God. I was blessed to go. It was fantastic to see about three thousand young people on fire for Christ.
They offered parent sessions for those of us brave enough to go. We would leave the youth to hear their message and travel far away to an outside building that seated about 150. That is the first thing I took notice of – 3000 plus kids and not even 10% of parents were expected at this session.
So I settled into my chair all self -righteously satisfied that I was among the remnant of parents desiring to be here and then …….
The first thing he said was, before you can expect to have a place in your child’s life….
“You must first capture your child’s heart.”
He had my attention and I immediately began to fight back tears. To have someone’s heart is a powerful thing. I have given my heart to two husbands and then I took it back because I felt that they abused their privilege.
How much have I abused the precious gift of my children’s hearts?
Have I treated it with the respect and protection that it deserves?
In my head I kept hearing “capture the flag”. On ancient battlefields the quest was to capture the flag of the opposing army and subdue it while taking your flag and holding it high. This epic moment meant that the battle had ended with you victorious. This is where we get the The Star Spangled Banner, written by Frances Scott Key. The entire song (originally a poem) is about our flag and the fight to keep it high during battle. They were watching all night from the belly of a ship to make sure that our flag was not captured at Fort McHenry.
Then my mind began to spin …..
In this life love is a battlefield and your child’s heart is the victory.
I was deeply convicted during these sessions because of the careless, clumsy 
way I have handled the hearts of my children. I have expected them to love and respect me because I am their mother yet I have not proven to them that I am worthy of honor. How much “Ungodliness” have they seen in me?
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:29-32
The ancient Spartans would not allow a man to go to war unless he had fathered a son, therefore insuring that he would be replaced if he fell in battle. The son was the assurance that the bloodline would be carried on. I know the Spartans are a bad example because of how terribly violent they were but a son was a high treasure in their culture.
Is your child a high treasure?
My son no longer lives with me, he sleeps each week night under the roof of my ex-husband and his wife and family. Though it is a hard reality for me I appreciate that the same ex-husband had to deal with not having him on school nights for 16 1/2 years. Such a long time to have a high treasure in my home and what did I do with that time? Did I spend it wisely? Did I raise a son who knows that he is loved, appreciated, a high treasure far above any diamond I could ever own?
So, as I searched my soul this past week and prayed about treating my son differently when we are together the ONLY tangible thing I came up with to change was to turn off my satellite t.v. subscription.
To most, this is a small and stupid thing to do but for me and God it is a sacrifice on my part to spend my week nights doing more than nothing and to be ready to have FELLOWSHIP with my young man when he does come.
Fellowship, time to listen to his heart. What is in there that I do not have access to? It is time to declare battle on the cares of this world and to STOP and LISTEN to my son, to HEAR his heart.
Here is a quote you got from me almost a year ago….. it still holds strong today.
“We Need to Raise Our Sons So That They Do Not Become Ex-Husbands.”
Some one just came into my office and shared a story and a song.
The story I will not share, the song I will….
I have never heard it before – WOW
I know this is not a coincidence – someone out there needs this song right now because it hit me way too hard to just be a song.
If this is for you please email me and let me know. soapco@yahoo.com
“Worn” by Tenth Avenue North
I’m having one of “those” mornings – can I get an “Amen” ?!?
So, although I don’t have anything positive to say this morning I do have a picture. Been thinking about this on the way to work and just had to see it and if I see it I share it.
Have a good weekend !
I got this in my email from a dear friend – thought I would share with you in the hope that it will touch someone as much as it did me.
Hope your Wednesday will be glorious !
I’d better blog this before I lose my nerve. You see, if I put it here for the world to see then I have to muster my energy and follow through because I’ve set the “words” into action.
I’ve made the decision to file for divorce.
I can almost hear the many voices resounding “FINALLY” !!!
I have been waiting on a “sign” from God and it has not happened. So, I bowed myself in prayer and conversed with God about this Lent season. I am a “Non-Denominational” Christian Believer and we don’t even celebrate Lent to my knowledge but taking the 6 weeks leading up to Easter Sunday and Jesus’ Death and Resurrection to give up something by fasting and praying seems to be to be a good tradition to partake in.
When I got up off my face on Ash Wednesday I decided to file for divorce as an “Act Of Worship” to my God. I know that may hit some of you out there as borderline blasphemy and still others as mere stupidity.
But, I am a woman who has made MANY mistakes, and then I made more mistakes trying to make up for those mistakes.
I have a deep, close relationship with the same God who walked in the Garden of Eden just to spend time with Adam and Eve. And that same God loves me (and all of you) in spite of our mistakes –
Our accidents as well as the sins we’ve done on purpose.
He loves us anyway. He loves me anyway. He loves YOU anyway !
This is just one more step toward my wholeness and healing. This is between Me and God. My mistakes, my repentance, my forgiveness and my salvation. I cannot change anything I’ve done or said and cannot change anyone else.
I’ve tried.
So, Ash Wednesday I went to the court house for paperwork. Later that night, at the bottom of last page is the “petition” to the court asking for a divorce – the header on this section says…
“PRAYER”
This was a hard hit. And the fact that my ink pen ran out of ink half way through the process. I got up from the table and prayed. “Lord, if this is Your way of telling me to stop I need more then these circumstances because the circumstances leading up to this moment for the past 13 years say a lot more then this ink pen. Please help me understand where You are on this issue.” I left the paperwork on the table until I got some “clarification”.
Think God does not listen and respond personally ? Well, imagine my surprise, three days later while cleaning my Africa room and I saw on the top shelf of my bookcase……… a clock that I had forgotten all about. I bought it at a garage sale many years ago because I fell in love with it and most everyone else thought it was cute but silly…..with the paperwork still on the kitchen table I stared at the clock in amazement and I heard in my heart……..
“It Is Time”
PS – If this blog makes no sense please read “An Unbroken Heart” posted Feb 1st
If you are going through a difficult time in your life right now, please click this link to the song… “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns
Is a picture still worth a thousand words if it’s computer generated?
These two are definitely created but I love them both –
In God’s Hands…..
Praise 4 Life by Sylvia Frost 